Why I'm Staying: A Mormon's Response to CNN's "Why Millennials Are Leaving the Church"

I recently read the CNN article, "Why Millennials Are Leaving the Church." According to the article, the younger generation has become restless amidst the politics and contention that have overflowed from the secular world into religion. Despite various strategies of Christian leaders to appeal to the youth, the disillusionment continues to grow.

Interestingly enough, I have encountered a good number of people throughout my life who don't understand why I choose to stick with my faith. I am a Mormon, and being well-known as "a peculiar people," we have a belief system and a tradition that tend to run counter to what one might expect a young person to endorse as a legitimate and fulfilling religion. But it is the very nature of those beliefs and traditions that has produced fulfillment in my life as well as the lives of millions of other "millennials." So as a response to the article, here is why I'm staying:

1. Our church takes care of its members. In addition to paying special attention to the sick and the elderly in our wards (Mormon congregations), we believe it is our duty as followers of Christ to look out for each and every member's temporal and spiritual well-being. This is why we are given regular assignments to visit each other's homes and share a doctrinal message to strengthen one another's faith. Service projects both inside and outside the church are especially important to us, and every ward I have attended has had some sort of service committee. If someone is moving in or moving out, we make an announcement in church and ask for people to sign up to come help. At leadership meetings, our leaders discuss the needs of individual members in the ward to determine how best to reach out to them. While these elements may seem intrusive to some, it makes me feel like my ward is mindful of me. In our fast-paced society, it is easy to forget each other's daily needs as we focus on our own, so having a church that makes a point of remembering them is quite refreshing.

2. Our church asks its members to actively participate in the Gospel. Having responsibilities to other members of the ward teaches us how to be true followers of Christ. Instead of having leaders serve us all the time, regularly serving others the way Christ did helps keep us in line with His teachings. I would also venture that we inherently find fulfillment in embarking in the service of others. It gives us purpose, which everyone desires in life. Serving others in multiple capacities throughout my life has given me a sense of purpose, making me feel needed and valued.

3. Our church provides members with social opportunities. Right now I attend a singles ward, and because we we consider marriage a sacred institution, we have many opportunities to meet people at church-sponsored functions. But even in married wards, the Church sponsors social events that enable us to cultivate healthy interpersonal relationships. We are, after all, brothers and sisters, so it is important to get to know each other and strengthen one another in Christ. Having close relationships with like-minded peers who can relate to my day-to-day experiences reminds me that I am not alone in this world. I am also able to learn and grow from the testimonies and talents of my peers.

4. Our church holds its members accountable. From my perspective, it is not that difficult to keep the basic covenants I made at baptism and remain worthy of church membership. But to actively abide Gospel principles and obey the higher covenants we make in the Temple requires much effort. From donating ten percent of our income to sustaining all of our leaders even when we may disagree with them, we must sacrifice quite a bit to become worthy of the blessings God has promised us. Nobody wants to be a passive recipient of life's pleasures without earning them. While I certainly cannot earn the Grace of God, having a road map by which to fulfill God's Plan makes me more certain that I am living a Christlike life.

5. In our church, members learn from each other. Because we have lay clergy, that means that everyone is on the same level when it comes to teaching each other the Gospel. Today's Bishop might be tomorrow's Activities Committee Chair, so there is no preconceived authority when it comes to knowledge of the Gospel. This means that during Sunday School, the lessons are quite interactive and discussion-based. Some might argue that this puts us at risk for learning incorrect doctrine, but that is why we teach from the scriptures and invite the Spirit to help us make sense of them. Even when discussions do get dicey, we can rely on the Spirit to get us back on track. In the meantime, these opportunities to discuss the Gospel help me to grow as a person and to grow closer to Christ, which is more important than gaining a perfect knowledge of the scriptures.

For me and many other young people, the attributes mentioned above are what make God and religion something worth believing in. They're what make life worth living. This is why I'm staying. Please respond as to why you are staying in your faith either on this blog or on social media, using the hashtag #whyimstaying.

How Should We Share Our Talents?

As children of our Father in Heaven, we all have gifts and talents, given purposefully to each of us to help others come unto Christ (D&C 46:11-12). Because of this purpose, we have been commanded to share these talents so that we may glorify God (Matthew 5:16). But how do we know when and how to share them? We certainly don't want to misuse them, but we also don't want to be like the servant who hid his talent and had it taken away from him (Matthew 25:24-28). Based on my understanding of the scriptures, when it comes to sharing our talents, here are some questions we should ask ourselves:

1. Am I using my talent to build the Lord's Kingdom? - This requirement does not mean that you should only use your talent in religious contexts. To me it means to live your life in ways that encourage others to want to know more about the Gospel which you represent. Here in the Boston Singles Wards is a sister missionary who has an amazing singing voice. Before coming to Boston, she was a member of Gladys Knight's band and had been Gladys Knight's assistant choir director for years. Because the beauty and strength of her testimony resonate through her vocal chords, she can and has built the Kingdom of God in powerful ways that extend beyond her missionary service. Anyone who hears her sing can't help but be touched by the Spirit, thus persuading them get to know her as a person. This alone provides her with opportunities to share the Gospel, whether on the mission or on tour.

2. Does using my talent enrich my life, or does it cause disruption? - As difficult as it can be to follow the promptings of the Spirit, the Lord will not prompt us to use our talents in ways that disrupt our daily lives. In the seminary video that portrays the First Vision, we see the Prophet Joseph working in the field when he finally realizes how to best heed the counsel of James to seek wisdom from God. Note that Joseph did not immediately drop to his knees and start praying, randomly leaving his chores unfinished. Instead, he carefully designated a particular time and place to visit later on (JSH 1:14). This would enable him to approach the Lord in the right mindset--free from the distractions of the world. I believe this played an important role in preparing Joseph for the magnificent and life-changing experience that would ensue. And so it is with sharing our talents. While we may feel prompted at a given time, we need not assume that we must drop everything and neglect other things that are also good in the Lord's sight. Inspiration often comes when it does so that we may prepare ourselves for when the time does come to act. The Lord will always prepare us beforehand to accomplish the commandments He has given us (1 Nephi 3:7).

3. Does using my talent allow me to keep the Commandments? - I first started writing this post on a Sunday morning, and I truly felt inspired to address this topic. But I eventually had to stop and get ready for Church, remembering that no matter how inspired I may have felt, the Lord would not require me to break the Sabbath. We must remember that the Spirit can only dwell within us when we are striving to keep the Commandments. Rather than prevent us from keeping God's Commandments, the sharing of our talents should help us and others keep them.

4. Does using my talent promote love or incite confrontation? - When acting on spiritual promptings, we should always remember that the Gospel is not one of aggression or contention. True principles are not to be enforced, but defended. In the Book of Alma, Captain Moroni was a gifted soldier, but he did not wage war on the Lamanites in an effort to enforce true Gospel principles on them. Instead, he armed the Nephites in defense of their land and freedom after the Lamanites had waged war on them (Alma 44:1-2, 54:13). While we are certainly commanded to teach and share truth with those who have yet to come unto Christ, we should abide by the fruits of the Spirit when doing so (Gal. 5:22).

The gifts and talents our Father gives us are infinite, without which we could not fulfill His Plan and help others come unto Christ. I am grateful for the gifts with which He has blessed me, as well as the gifts He has blessed others with that have benefited me and strengthened my testimony. I know that if we strive to keep the Commandments and remain sensitive to the Spirit, we need not worry about missing those opportunities to share our talents in ways that are pleasing unto Him.

My Post to the Ordain Women Movement

With all of the pills of wisdom I have shared as of late, I'm sure you're dying to know my thoughts on the Mormon Feminist Movement. I'll get to my complete thoughts eventually, but today I just want to share something I wrote a few months ago regarding the closely-related Ordain Women Movement. I wrote it on the Ordain Women Facebook page, and it received some positive feedback. To put it into context, this page features people from both sides of the issue sharing their thoughts on whether women should receive the Priesthood. After observing some of the more reactive and un-Christlike posts from both sides, I put my wannabe conflict mediation skills to work and wrote what I hoped would be taken as a humble and sincere approach to a very sensitive issue. I have edited out the names as well as the introduction--since I just provided one here.

I don't pretend to know everything the Lord has in store for us in the future, and I don't interpret this morning's [General Conference] session as a direct condemnation of this movement like some of the people on this thread. I find that interpretation presumptuous, judgmental, and prideful. Some people have essentially dusted their feet at this site, which is a serious thing. Nobody at Conference came right out and said that women will never get the priesthood. We did hear the importance of following the Prophet, while Sister Dalton marveled at the value of women and the implications of recognizing them as daughters of God. Some may have interpreted these as rebuttals of the Ordain Women movement, but I would think that such a rebuttal would have been more blatant. In contrast, I feel like those talks were an indirect expression of the sentiment I would like to express right now. And I hope it will be taken in the right spirit, as I don't mean to offend with my words, neither do I mean to imply anything beyond what I actually say.

Women are severely undervalued and under-appreciated in proportion to their role in our Heavenly Father's Plan--not just in the Church but in the world. That is obvious. I will acknowledge, however, that there is a particularly tragic sentiment within the Church's imperfect membership that places women in a subservient role. The presumption has been that the priesthood trumps all feelings and opinions in the family unit, and that the wife is to obey her husband by virtue of his position as patriarch. That attitude, however, should have been eradicated once Section 121 of the Doctrine & Covenants had been revealed, if not sooner. Yes, the Lord uses a patriarchal order to give His Church structure, as He is not a God of chaos and disorder. Why did He choose the man to be the head of the family? We don't know. We really don't. But He never meant for the husband to dominate the wife. We believe in a Heavenly Mother, and I believe that Heavenly Father holds Her in such high regard that the reason He rarely talks about Her is not because She's not important, but because He has seen the way we've denigrated women for thousands of years, and He refuses to let us do that to Her.

That may sound condescending, but that is not my intention. It certainly doesn't answer the question as to why women don't have the priesthood. I hope you sisters believe, however, that while some may see the priesthood as a symbol of superiority, there are plenty of us men in the Church who don't approach the priesthood with that attitude. My mother raised me to respect women and appreciate them for everything they do for us both temporally and spiritually. I don't see you as less than me because I hold the priesthood, and I certainly don't expect my future wife to blindly submit to my authority because I hold the priesthood. I see it as a responsibility and as a symbol of the Lord's mercy. While we use the wording "All worthy adult males are eligible to receive the priesthood," we truly aren't worthy of it--anymore than we are worthy of the rest of God's Grace. The priesthood is one way of serving. Again, I don't know why only men have the priesthood. But the ways in which women serve are just as eternally valuable as any priesthood responsibility. I'm not talking about women being able to give birth, as I find that typical response insulting. There are so many other things that make the woman invaluable to God's Plan.

I believe that is why Sister Dalton said what she said. And I believe the importance of following the Prophet was stressed today because no matter what we may want or petition for, in the end it is the Prophet who will reveal the Lord's will for us. Yes, he will take our concerns seriously, but he will always defer to the Lord's will, not ours.

That being said, it is doctrinally sound to question the teachings of the Church. That is how the Church was restored in the first place. There is nothing wrong with questioning--so long as we're doing it with a humble heart and a desire for understanding. Just as the Prophet Moroni encourages us to pray about the Book of Mormon with faith and real intent, we must do so in matters like these. Now I don't pretend to know the hearts of all those who support the Ordain Women movement. But anytime we question something about the Lord's doctrine, we must ask ourselves whether we are doing it in a spirit of faith and real intent. Do we seek to gain a greater understanding and enlightenment, or do we seek to get what we have already decided is right? Do we seek the Lord's will or do we seek our own will? Most importantly, even if we don't get what we are hoping for, will we continue to sustain the Brethren as the Lord's Prophets and Apostles?

If the answer to that last question is yes, then forget about those who condemn you for this. The talks to which they refer weren't directed at you.

Live and Let Live: What We Can Learn from Joseph of Egypt About Truly Keeping the Faith

With the recent decisions concerning DOMA and Prop 8, many people who share similar ideologies with me have expressed horror at what this world is coming to. People are criticizing our leaders and lamenting the fact that our country keeps getting worse and worse, and the animosity between sides is greater than ever. And yes, I believe the world is going downhill. Wars and calamities are happening all around us, good is being taken for evil, and the love of man is waxing cold. The Second Coming is fast approaching. In no way do I deny that.

I'm just trying to wrap my head around the idea that when our brothers and sisters make poor choices, it then becomes our duty to send them on guilt trips for bringing this world one step closer to destruction. In my 32+ years as a Latter-Day Saint, not once have I come across a scripture in any of the Standard Works that instructs us to protest against a person's choices AFTER he/she has made them. I recently mentioned this sentiment on my Facebook page, and someone said that I still need to do all I can to show that I'm against immoral practices, otherwise I cannot expect to not be held accountable. I wish I had corrected him more fully. Instead of qualifying his statement, I should have just said that his statement was blatantly false. Because it is.

I think a lot of us get this strange idea in our heads that sincerely believing in something and never backing down means throwing rocks at the neighborhood bully's head as he walks away after pounding you. Many God-fearing people think that defending their faith means spending their time and energy denouncing the Godlessness that has befallen this world and shunning those who are products of it. If that were true, Joseph of the Old Testament would have spent every minute of every day in captivity trying to escape the house of Potiphar, after which he would have fled the heathen land of Egypt in search of the Promised Land.

But he did not. Instead he endured, using the gifts that God had given him to thrive within his own realm, never losing faith and never sinning against God. Despite being a slave who had to do everything his masters told him to do, he somehow found a way to remain true to his covenants. That eventually landed him in prison, but even then, he managed to keep God's Commandments. Even as a prisoner, he was free. As Ben Kingsley said as Potiphar in the 1995 movie Joseph, "As long as he has his God, he is free." That sentiment is supported in the book of Genesis: "And the Lord was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian" (Gen. 39:2).

Next to keeping his covenants despite his situation, I think the best part about Joseph's story is that his obedience to God's Commandments allowed him and those around him to thrive. He spent several years as a slave and then as a prisoner before even getting an audience with Pharaoh, and yet he still moved up the ranks, always earning the trust of his captors and using the power of God to help them (See Gen. 39:3-4, 20-23). That of course is what eventually put him in a position to interpret Pharoah's dream, which earned him the opportunity to use God's gifts on a much grander scale to benefit God's children.

If you're familiar with that much of the story, you likely also know that all of this enabled Joseph to not just save Egypt, but to save his family! His family, who had made the same covenants with God and had been promised the same blessings as he, benefited from Joseph's unwavering faith and endurance that had not been stained by bitterness and resentment towards those who despitefully used him. He had not cursed the land of Egypt, but rather had helped them prosper, which in turn helped his family prosper.

So what do we do in these hard times? I'm not going to lie and say I'm okay with what's going on around us. I am disappointed by what is happening to this world's moral compass, and often I do get discouraged that more and more people are forgetting God. But we must be careful not to lose our heads by making up strict "standards of righteousness" that nobody can follow without betraying human decency. That sounds like an oxymoron because it is. I truly believe that when we are told to be in the world but not of the world, it is meant that we should allow ourselves to live among those who do not believe the way we do, keeping our own covenants and yet allowing them to exercise the free agency with which God has blessed them. The trick there is to keep ALL of our covenants, which includes sacrificing ourselves unto God by serving Him and His children, as well as being careful not to conform to the world, but to let the Power of God transform them by showing through our example what is acceptable before God (See Romans 12:1-2).

So just lead by example, everyone. Share the Gospel, serve others, and teach the truth when given the opportunity--and there are many opportunities out there. Show compassion for those who have been stained by the poor choices of others as well as their own, and look to that as an opportunity to bring them unto the Gospel as well. Do not fall into the trap of mocking and scorning those who are not holding to the rod, or even gnashing your teeth at evil. Those reactions are specifically reserved for those who have not remained true and faithful. Do not fool yourself into believing that remaining true and faithful means doing it right back.