Pressure!

I'm in Denmark right now. I'm here visiting Jan Marie for the week, and I'm loving it! But I'll save my rants for Facebook.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a nice heart-to-heart with a friend of mine who expressed how much pressure she has been feeling over the past couple of months. She's new to the area, has started a new job, and is making new friends, among other things. She described herself as being pulled in a million different directions, which I do not doubt.

Upon having that conversation, I resolved to do my part as her friend to reduce said pressure. But I have since realized that such an endeavor can be just as bad if taken to extremes. In our interpersonal relationships, I don't think we realize that pressure works both ways. Not only should we not feel pressured by the actions of others, but we should also not feel pressured to make others feel less pressure...if that makes sense.

For example, I sometimes worry about the way I act around people. I have worried about saying the wrong thing, not smiling enough, and even posting the wrong thing on Facebook. But I am who I am, and while I respect limits and personal bubbles, I can't walk on eggshells every time I open my mouth. If I can't be myself around one person, I should go be myself around someone else.

I'd like to draw upon Elder David Bednar's talk from a past LDS General Conference about being offended, and suggest that the concept applies in these situations. To extend on that, not only does being offended deprive ourselves of many opportunities, it also deprives others of the comfort of being themselves. Of course it's okay to define our limits, but we shouldn't get stressed out when someone inadvertently pushes those limits.

Remember that we're all socially inept to a degree, so we need to cut each other a break. We also need to cut ourselves a break, as a lot of the pressure we feel is often self-inflicted. Surely my friend expected me to be nothing but myself, as she had given me no reason to think otherwise. In the end, it's all about trusting ourselves and each other to...well, trust us.